Dear Brian Regan,

Dear Brian (Brivl7Q)-

We were fortunate enough to see you perform this week at the Mountain Winery in Saratoga, CA. This is the 3rd time. We got to sit in one of the suites which was totally fun. Awesome seats, good food and sure-fire talent. I just wanted to thank you for being you, and commend you on developing and sharing your talents. I believe you are doing what you were meant to be doing. I was discussing with my husband on the way home and I feel the need to thank you for being one of the unifying forces in our family. We have 3 teenagers. And while I know I’m stating the obvious, we don’t see eye to eye on much. They don’t even really see eye to eye with each other very often. But when it comes to Brian Regan. We all agree, we love you and your style and pretty much quote your material, dare I say, an amazing amount per week (probably an average of once per day, often more.) We start in on it and then there is no stopping us. It makes us all laugh, no matter how often we hear it or say it. It makes us happy too that we don't have to censor it. We believe in clean living in our house. Thanks for holding true to your clean comedy and giving us something to laugh at that is truly funny.

All our friends and family are converted too. We have taken to showing large handwritten signs in our van windows to our friends in other cars when we travel. One of our favorite signs is, “Just dumb ol’ donkeys.” It makes long car trips a little more bearable. Thanks for that.

Please come to our next campout. We love telling and retelling funny anecdotes, and laughing and laughing. When someone has a new story they say, “It’ll be a good one for the campfire.” We could all be the opening act and then you could start in and we could laugh all night.

I just want you to know you’re appreciated, loved and quoted often.

Take Luck,

Stefani Meyer

Just so you know, I really sent this to him.

Have You Seen This?

or this??
or this?
Yes that's right Kelsi officially graduated! She did it she actually did it! We couldn't be happier and more proud of her fighting the fight and doing hard things.

Awesomely enough out of the 300 kids that graduated Kelsi and her friend Angela Merrell got so sit next to each other during the ceremonies. Thank goodness for alphabetical seating. That made it all the more sweet.

Here she is getting her diploma.

These girls have made the High School experience bearable. They are so beautiful inside and out, and so talented and so fun and so good. Kelsi has been blessed to associate with them. Two of them will be going to BYU-I in the fall with Kelsi. This is of great comfort to me and I'm sure to Kelsi.

And...

Have you seen these cuties?

Nigh unto a Half Century -- or Who's the Better Parent?

Guess who had a birthday? Weird! It seems to me, he had one last year around this time. He's getting older but I love him more than ever. He compliments me to a tee. What would I do without him? He's better than me, stronger than me, and his arms are a little bit longer than me (sorry I had to throw that in for all you Justin Beiber fans).

Don't feel bad for him getting so old and everything. I guess the older you get the more you get spoiled for your birthday. He got one of these. His old VitaMix was 18 years old... and well used. Time for some awesome drinks!

He went here! 3 days of golfing in Tahoe! Beautiful!

Annnd, he went here! I know, be jealous (It's what every 49 year old man wants to do for his birthday. Go see Justin Bieber! Laugh, but if it makes your daughter happy then it's totally worth it)

(awww, see what I mean - happy, happy girl)

And Brady and Kelsi made him one of these (I served it)

And he blew all his candles out so his wishes will come true.

AND as it turns out, one of our family's ongoing questions has been answered. It looks like Brad IS the better parent after all.

Last week we went all "unplugged" (you know, turned off the internet, cell phones, video games, movies etc.) and it was HIS idea! I was leary about this idea, well ok, downright dread had set into my brain. But I shouldn't have been worried his idea of no electronics became a joy to me. I missed checking my email and I missed updating my blog, but I think I could almost go without it forever if my kids would continue without all their extra electronic attachments. I’m not saying they were excited to do jobs or are all involved in all these extra enriching activities after only one day and I had interacted with them individually and as a group more than in all the previous week, plus they were been pretty pleasant for the most part... Oh, and I can't forget, LOUD. Wow! They like to talk very loudly in my face. It’s not a mean yelling, they are just loud. They think it’s funny. I still tell them to tone it down, but I’m willing to put up with the extra noise in exchange for the unity I felt. I’m sure they would deny to the end that it had anything to do with their lack of technology, but I know in my heart that they would not be exactly right.

Another one of Brad’s ideas that has been going relatively well is the idea of taking one room or area in the house per day and do a deep cleaning of it. Ok, so granted we’ve done only 3 relatively easy areas so far (pantry, living room and stairs/hallway). They complain and complain and I could have cleaned the area 3 times over, in the length of time it takes them to get their rears in gear. But what I think (hope) they are realizing is that there is more to cleaning an area well than running a vacuum between the clutter on the floor. I’ve been making a list of EVERYTHING that needs to be done in that area and then everyone gets to choose assigned something off the list to do, until it’s all done. Again, it takes WAY longer to motivate them than to actually clean the area, but I just keep picturing Kelsi at college at “Dorm Check” time, knowing what it takes to have their dorm pass and what will keep her apartment disease free up to snuff. And because of my new outlook on life, (I've been trying to me more proactive than reactive) I’ve been able to keep a cool head and know that I am getting an area of my house clean that might not otherwise get done, AND I’m hopefully teaching some useful life skills to my kids in the mean time. What’s not to be calm and cool about (even it takes all day)?

So I guess it goes to show, Brad IS the better parent. But see, I may be too wimpy nice to come up with such stringent rules and regulations but check this... who is the one that is carrying out these stringent rules and regulations? Ya, that would be ME. Let me tell you that takes some pretty good parenting skills in and of itself, don’t you think? I guess this is what I'm talking about with Brad and I complimenting each other. I hope we are both around for another 1/2 a century to have many more awesome experiences.

I LOVE YOU BRAD!!! THANKS FOR BEING YOU!

I Cried at Mile 18

(This is such a great thought-it's sometimes how I feel while I'm running)

So who knew running a marathon could be an such an emotional experience? I mean I have run a 1/2 marathon before. I teared up when I started out and saw the people running all around me, setting off in the pursuit of the same goal. But I didn't even think about it this time. I was focusing on the beautiful scenery, worrying if my hip-flexor was stretched out (I hurt it earlier in the week) talking with my good friends (Caroline, Amy and my new friend Stacy), concentrating on my pace, checking my wrist bands (for time) and much more.

(Amy, Caroline, Me - Post Race)

I had had a little glitch in my training schedule (see previous post). The longest I had run, up until that point, was 15 miles . I had been a bit worried about that fact and just about killed myself earlier in the week (see above statement about hip-flexor) trying to prove I could still run a long distance. A few miles into the race I started to relax and stopped worrying. I knew I could do it, my body remembered how. Then long about 3/4 into the race, I glanced up to see the mile marker that said 18. All of a sudden, and without warning, tears were streaming down my face. I had NEVER run that far before. I was here! I was doing it! I trained for this (well mostly). I was doing something hard! It was amazing! I WAS AMAZING!!!! It was such a fantastic feeling. I cried again at mile 19 and then just before 20. I was on track to come in under 5 hours. Then about 20 1/2 miles the outside of my left knee started hurting. I walked, it felt better, I started running again, it hurt after running about 100 yards. I kept this drill up for a mile or so. Then I couldn't even do that anymore. It got down to where I couldn't even run 20 feet without just about crumpling in pain. Walking was ok though, so I decided that I was going to have to walk the last 5 miles. I was very disappointed. But in the midst of my disappointment, an angel showed up. Her name was Alexandra. She was adorable and I noticed that she seemed to be doing the exact same thing as me, run a little (a very little) and then walk. We just kept passing each other. I finally suggested that we might have the same problem going on. She asked if it was my knee. She did have the same problem as me. We decided to (speed) walk together. She was way younger than me, she walked faster than me, she pushed me to keep a good pace even though we weren't running. We were disappointed together when the 5 hour mark passed (both of our goals). She was a great running/walking buddy. We even had the same iPod (this is super important news;). Eventually I let her go ahead, I felt like I was holding her back. My time ended up being 5 hours 33 minutes. I limped over the finish line, but I did it!! I could be happy about this, really!

Some of the other joys of the trip were:

*Sitting next to a cute UCLA law student on the way to Utah. (Really, I wish he could have been my son, even though I don't think he would have appreciated me tickling his chin on take-off. Sorry Family Joke - let's just say when you're REALLY excited about something --especially on an airplane-- you need to finds someone's chin to tickle.)

*Staying with Derek (my brother) and Marsha (his wife) and their cute family (Mark, Lauren, Ryan and Joe)

*Going onto the BYU campus (chocolate covered cinnamon bears were calling)

*Eating at JCW's (thanks Marsh) I would totally recommend the Marshmallow milkshake and Jalapeno Bacon Burger!

*Watching American Idol (I would have done this anyway but it was fun to do it with D&M)

*Going to Tai Pan (heaven, pure heaven I tell ya)

*Buying my new Spibelt (Black with pink polka-dots. I know, be jealous.)

*Amy's cousin, a massage therapist, who just happened to be there when I mentioned my hip issue. She did a number on me (it was pure torture), but my hip felt oh, so much better (I'm not even kidding, this was an answer to my prayers.)

*Seeing my awesome, mogul friend, and former business partner Dianne - and her family and her dogs.

*Staying in a 5 star hotel. Ok, it was really Dianne's house - but I would give it great reviews!

*Going to Spoon Me. The yogurt shop that the Dahlins own and operate (can you say, "original tangy/acai twist with strawberries, kiwi and pineapple"? Good, you CAN say it, now go get some, it's delish)

*FINALLY eating at the famed "Cafe Rio". I know, I know, don't say it... I've been deprived all these years. I truly have

*Laughing with Dianne about old times (sorry Caroline - we know we're weird. *Tinkle*)

*Visiting Brigham City (where Caroline's Mother in Law lives)

*Attending Church there (you'd think you'd gone back into Joseph Smith's time)

*Listening to her Sister in Law speak in church. (more on that in another post - it was inspiring and beautiful.)

*Spending a huge amount of time with one of the sweetest people on the planet (Caroline)

*Being able to switch my seat to sit by her on the way home. (She tolerated my chin tickling - see exhibit A)

(Exhibit A)

*Having my family be excited to see me when I got home. They made me a totally lame, but very sweet poster. I loved it!

*Being able to say I'm a marathon runner!

Yep! That's me! Marathon Runner!!!!

Akin to Sarah, Elisabeth and Sariah (almost)

So this is my mother's day post this year. It's a little out of the ordinary.

So, you might as well know. About 10 weeks ago I woke up early one Sunday morning in a panic. I left almost immediately to go to 24 hour Walmart to buy a pregnancy test (actually 3 of them). Brad was apparently in a panic as well because he called me 3 times in the 1/2 hour I was gone (make sure you get more than one, make sure you get different brands, don't get the cheapest one). As you can guess, or I probably wouldn't even remember the incident today, two out of two tests came back positive. Let me put this into a little perspective, I'm 44, Brad's 48, Kelsi just turned 18 (3 days before this particular day), Brady would be 14 by the time the baby was due. We just stood and stared at each other for 2 hours in open-mouthed shock, with Brad muttering things like, "This can't be real." or "Is there any chance it could be wrong?"

This was NOT where our life was heading.

Has something ever jerked you out of your way of thinking, your way of life your direction? It is a very odd feeling. Of course I am ever grateful that it wasn't something dreadful like terminal illness (although, I am of the mindset that child-bearing/rearing COULD lead to an early death). But holy smokes, news like this forces you into submission. Did you know we are not in control (even though we'd like to think we are)? This was something that there was NO WAY around. Without doing something immoral or illegal there was no changing our new direction. It was a very odd to feel in a small way, like those who had made mistakes in life that leave them "in a family way" without a husband. You wish you could go back, you wish there was something you could do, you wonder how you could have been so careless. But after a day of complete and utter shock we started to rally. While we still had a long way to go to wrap our minds around something like this, we started thinking of the positive, fun ideas about our situation. We told our kids... they were TOTALLY excited! That was fun. We told a couple of friends that NEEDED to know because of previous engagements that would have to be put on hold (ok, cancelled) because of the news. THEY were TOTALLY excited.

What else do you do? You think of the positive. We tried... we succeeded (a little bit).

I didn't want to tell anyone (with the exception of a few). I guess I was a bit embarrassed, "Stefani, hasn't anyone ever explained to you how these things happen?" "Stefani, don't you know you're OLD?" and when I did tell people I wanted it to be with a positive - "We couldn't be happier!" - attitude (that was going to take some time).

The title of this post suggests I possibly felt like these great women of the scriptures that were destined to bare prophets. Mostly I just felt old, really old. Brad's mortality came into focus as well, when calculated how old he would be when this kid graduated from high school (67, if you're wondering). Maybe he felt a little like Abraham, who was 100 when Isaac was born - can you imagine? Whoa!

You know, when you're young and having a baby, you're a little oblivious. You're just taking it day by day, it's sorta fun in an "ignorance is bliss"type of a way. But now I knew what it took to raise a child, all 18 years worth. YIKES! Could I do that again? I wasn't so sure.

We learned some good communication with each other and with the Lord.

We learned, first that our trust in the Lord, wasn't what we thought. Then we learned that in order to do hard things we HAD to trust in the Lord.

We learned about a lot of other families that had cabooses and were blessed because of it.

We learned better scripture study habits.

We learned that we are resilient.

We learned a better and more mature appreciation of parenthood (especially poignant that it was Mother's Day)

We learned to expectations of life aren't always what you think they're going to be.

We learned to take it down a notch (I was having trouble realizing I needed to take a nap or that I couldn't work myself into the ground).

I started a baby name list

I started making nursery plans

I started thinking about baby clothes again

I started noticing "older" pregnant moms

I started wanting to hold babies more

I started envisioning all the things I would do differently (and better) this time

I started eating/drinking healthier

I started anticipating having the oldest and the youngest (possibly) grandchild on my side of the family

I stopped running :(

I stopped thinking I was going to be at Girls Camp for Afton's last two years

I stopped thinking about serving a mission with Brad anytime soon

I stopped lifting heavy things

I stopped staying up late

(Why do I like this picture so much?)

I was really getting into the groove of things, and then tragedy struck. It started out small really. But once my body figured out what was going on, it was all over really pretty quickly. About 8 weeks into it, my body realized that there was something wrong and I miscarried. I won't gross you out with all the details, but needless to say, we have been on quite the roller coaster ride in the last couple of months. We have now been shoved back into our first mindset (hopefully with a few valuable lessons under our belts). That, in and of itself, is hard and a little bit weird. But as Brad and I have both agreed on, we are sad for the loss, we appreciate the things we learned, we are grateful for our family (no matter how big or how small it is) but we are pretty sure the scales are tipped on the side of relief that this was a test, it was only a test.

(I put Afton in charge of photo directing on Mother's Day - we got some pretty hilarious shots - here's one of my favorite)

(How typical, "Tiki Head and the 4 Monkeys" - Aaaaa! I love my family!)

Bring on Spring!

Ok, after my little rant yesterday I decided that I should move on to more positive things.

This is what has been making me happy today--my front porch. I've been dying to brighten things up out there and the opportunity finally came. On Friday I was at Home Goods and found this ca-ute turquoise bench. With a little sweep of this and and little spray of that. Ba-da-bing, Ba-da-boom, my house (well porch) is ready for spring. I love it!

Here's a close up. I spray painted the flower pot last year. With some new bright flowers it goes perfectly here, don't you think?

This little orange dude was a drab olive color up until a couple of days ago. When I bought him I fully intended to spray paint him. I think I even bought the orange spray paint that very same day. As usual, I procrastinated and it took until I got all this other fun stuff out to finally get him done. I LOVE the way he looks now. I think he needs a name though. What would you suggest? I can't just call him "little orange dude", or can I?

It's nice that a little pop of color can brighten one's mood. Ahhh, yes!

Life

You know, some days I'm really sick and tired of it. Now don't get me wrong I'm not thinking of ending it anytime soon. But I'm sick and tired of all the work it requires. I'm sick and tired of being the mom, the one no one listens to, you know, the scape-goat. If anything is going wrong it can pretty much be (and is) blamed on mom. I'm sick and tired of having great plans and expectations of it, only to be bogged down in the mire of mundane and everyday stuff. I'm sick and tired of admiring others when my hopes and aspirations to have someone admire me, are dashed again and again on the rocks. I'm sick and tired of trying to motivate myself and my family into any sort of respectable routines only to be 3 steps behind where I started out. I'm sick and tire of being foiled again and again in my attempt to be someone admirable. I'm sick and tired of the messes, the complaining, the bad habits, the lack of appreciation, the un-met goals, the lack of goals, period. I'm sick and tired of caring. I'm sick and tired of not being cared about. I'm sick and tired of hearing about how great everyone else's life is. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm going to go run 15 miles and see if I can burn off some of this attitude (it may take longer, this feels pretty deep). Stay tuned, I'm sure I'll feel better later (maybe).

Thanks for listening (even if you don't really care).