One of my very favorite TV shows for the last 5 years is "Bones". In a nutshell it is about forensic anthropologist, Temperance Brennan (Bones) who specializes in the study of bones and is the best in her field. She has joined up with the FBI and together she and her FBI agent partner, Seeley Booth, solve crimes using forensics. The characters are so great and forensics intrigues me.
An on going character they have had on the show is serial killer, Heather Taffet. They call her "The Gravedigger" because her M.O was to bury people alive, even a couple of the show's regulars fell victim to her methods, but using brains and ingenuity they escaped (of course, at the very last possible moment before they died). Last season showed her finally being found and arrested, much to everyone's relief.
(Heather Taffet, The Gravedigger)
On this week's show she was to be tried for her crimes. As the show opened she was being transported under heavy guard from her prison cell to the courthouse. Lance Sweets, who is the FBI psychologist on the show, was riding with her in the armed car because apparently, she had "requested psychological counseling during transport".
The Gravedigger, not only known for her killings, but for her head games, proceeded to try to unnerve Sweets by messing with his head. She told him, "If my appeal fails I will die, but you will have to go on living every day as a repressed, immature individual spouting canned theories to people who don't really care." In all her psychopathic glory she planned this attack on, whom she thought, was the weakest link in the prosecutions witnesses. And even though the moment she stepped out of the vehicle she was "taken out" by a sniper, the words that she placed in Lance's mind continued to haunt him, almost to the point that he couldn't do his job.
(Lance Sweets, spattered with the Gravedigger's blood after she sent a hamster of untrue thoughts running around in his mind)
Lance secretly harbored these words, replayed them in his mind (and on his tape recorder) he was in the throws of doubting himself, his schooling, his position. His peers and colleagues attempted to help him, to make sure that he was ok, but he hid it well, shrugged it off, made everyone believe that he was fine. Caroline Julian, a tough old broad of a prosecutor for the U.S Attorney's Office, saw through his bluff and sat him down for a frank talk. Her words to him were, "Her (Heather Taffet's) strategy was to shake you to the core. You're an expert with the FBI! Now, who is Heather Taffet?" Lance, with enlightenment beginning to dawn on him, weakly stated, "A dead serial killer?" Ms. Julian answered, "You're damn straight!" And then referring to the state of Taffet's current condition she said, "Dr. Brennan has her head all rigged up [in the lab], spinning like a Christmas Tree."
I sat there thinking how true that is in life. How we listen to people's words that are hurtful, whether intentional or not, and we listen! We listen! Unfortunately for some, these hurtful words may come from someone who is in a position of teaching or mentoring (like parents or teachers) and therefore, take even more effort to sort through. But aside from that situation, how often do we listen when someone infers we are stupid, fat, incapable, lazy, worthless, uncool etc. Do these people know what they are talking about? Who made them the Grand Poobah of anything, let alone your mental state?
And how often do we listen to the words whispered in our minds by the adversary. Those words that prey upon our darkest fears that say, we are lost, that it is too late, that we aren't worthy, that we aren't good enough. I mean who is he? Someday it will be his proverbial head spinning like a proverbial Christmas Tree and we... we will be the experts in the Kingdom of our Father.
So what's my wrap up here? I guess I don't really know. I just need to remember to listen to the right voices. I am one that listens to such voices much too often. I want to do better and maybe that's the reason I am posting these thoughts. It seemed easy to tell Lance Sweets not to listen to a clearly manipulative psychopath but how often do I lose myself in something similar. I vow to do better. Maybe I will try to remember to often repeat the daily affirmations of Stuart Smalley...
I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!
Ok, this is my real parting thought... :)