Monday, April 4, 2011

Life


You know, some days I'm really sick and tired of it. Now don't get me wrong I'm not thinking of ending it anytime soon. But I'm sick and tired of all the work it requires. I'm sick and tired of being the mom, the one no one listens to, you know, the scape-goat. If anything is going wrong it can pretty much be (and is) blamed on mom. I'm sick and tired of having great plans and expectations of it, only to be bogged down in the mire of mundane and everyday stuff. I'm sick and tired of admiring others when my hopes and aspirations to have someone admire me, are dashed again and again on the rocks. I'm sick and tired of trying to motivate myself and my family into any sort of respectable routines only to be 3 steps behind where I started out. I'm sick and tire of being foiled again and again in my attempt to be someone admirable. I'm sick and tired of the messes, the complaining, the bad habits, the lack of appreciation, the un-met goals, the lack of goals, period. I'm sick and tired of caring. I'm sick and tired of not being cared about. I'm sick and tired of hearing about how great everyone else's life is. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm going to go run 15 miles and see if I can burn off some of this attitude (it may take longer, this feels pretty deep). Stay tuned, I'm sure I'll feel better later (maybe).
Thanks for listening (even if you don't really care).

11 comments:

Kristen said...

Sounds like you need to come over and lay on my couch!!! : ) Hope your run was good therapy!

Lindseys said...

Sounds like a rough day. I thought the picture was great!

It reminds me of the Bill Cosby routine where he talks about the worst beating he ever got was when his mom said, "I am sick!" and he said, "and tired"

Hope things pick up for you. You are awsome.

Derek

1771 Severinsen Street said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Denise Shattuck said...

Stef,
You are an amazing person and going through the thick of the teenage years right now. Believe me, it WILL change. Sometimes we all have to have "sick & tired" days to see the sunshine when it comes... and it will come. You are one of the most talented people I know. You do so much for others, and have gifts that others envy (like me). I hope the run helps you feel better. If all else fails, read a good book and take your mind of things for awhile. You need a break. Feel better soon! ♥ Denise

Shannon B said...

I'm glad I am not the only one who feels this way...

This too shall pass (at least the negative feelings will, being a mom won't) chin up buttercup!!

Jennifer Miller said...

I hate days like the one you are having. Run hard and Fast, take out the mood. Good Luck!

Lydia said...

I ADMIRE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! And I especially admire that you don't sugar coat your feelings and are so authentic - you inspire me all the time, I truly think that you are probably the most creative person that I know! And you have stuck with the running thing and turned fitness into a strength! I miss you and love you!

Annette said...

Stef! I knew you were having a rough day when you said you were sitting in your car getting the nerve up to run 15. That didn't sound like you! You have taken this running thing by the horns. Remember how you were not a runner? Now you are a marathon runner! I have been trying to teach the Young Women to see the big picture and their amazing potential, and what God sees in them, all the while feeling exactly as you do just now. I think we are hardest on ourselves. You are doing an amazing job as a wife and mother. I always turn to you when I need advice, because you are so wise! I love your honesty and candor. I have a hard time sharing my insecurities on my blog. I hope I never make you feel like our life is great because of that. Although I think you pretty much know the real me. I, like Denise have to be careful not to envy the gifts and talents you have...there are so many! I love and admire you too. You are a true friend and I'm so glad we are going through these teenage years together. I'm thinking we need some beach therapy soon!!! What do ya say???

Janet said...

Love you, Stef!

Carolina said...

Oh my friend that is why I have always loved you because you are so human and true to yourself. Thank you again, because is nice to see that others feel like I do sometimes!

Jolieflower said...

I'm sick and tired now. I just want to tell my bad stories but there's no one to listen. Somehow I typed " I'm tired. No one listens" . And ... you are on top of google. I saw your picture which is like mine now. And feel want to smile. Feel better. Thanks.