Tales of a 48 Year Old Fangirl!

(I had to add this picture of Cale Mills in here - one of Kris' old friends, and member of his band - I think he might have actually been Kris' Brother's friend - who knows maybe I am totally wrong. Anyway, I always think of them together. Plus I thought Afton might like it.)

So, I know what it's like to be a fangirl. Back in the day I swooned over the likes of Donny Osmond, Shaun Cassidy, and someone called Harrison Ford. I know the symptoms, weak at the knees, breathing comes a little bit fast, heart palpitations, thinking of said victim idol 24/7, knowing random facts about said individual's life, the list goes on. Now I'm 48 (shhh, it's a little bit of a secret). There are people that are definitely of interest to me. Kris Allen is at the top of that list. I am a 48 year old, happily married mother of 3 young adults. Question: Is one still considered a fangirl at this stage in life? There has got to be a better word. Fanwoman? This seems a little weird. An image like this comes to mind...

I don't think it quite gets the feeling across.

I no longer get weak in the knees and I'm pretty sure my breathing can be considered normal. But there are times when to others, it might seem like I am pretty obsessed. Let me let you in on a little secret, sometimes I play it up, just  a little, just because it's fun. I am of the motto "Own it!" and "Go Big or Go Home". I exaggerate it because it's better than being embarrassed about my apparent "fangirl" (fanwoman) status.

Now, don't think I'm trying to talk myself (or you) out of having idols. I think it's a good and healthy and normal thing (even for old ladies). I'm just trying to figure out where or how I fit in.

What brings all this to mind you ask? Well for one, I was just able, for the 1st time, to see my beloved Kris Allen IRL. I need to expound on this amazing individual and the reasons for which I am completely drawn to him (in the public eye or not).

(This is us the night Kris won American Idol. True fan girl picture. I would like to think that I single handedly helped him win. I would continually hit redial on the voting every week on the way home from Hollister after watching Idol at either the Dickson's or the Anderson's house)

- In 2009 Kris won American Idol. He beat the talented and charismatic Adam Lambert, who was the apparent shew-in.  California (and really, all of America) had just come off of Prop 8 and Adam seemed the perfect poster child for the "changing" times in the country. Kris, who couldn't be more opposite, won. To me, this speaks volumes about what an "idol" is and should be.

-Kris didn't get much airtime before he got picked to be in the top performers of that season. As soon as I saw him and heard him though, I was drawn to him. Genuine, nice, happy, and of course talented.

- You'd think after 5 years of listening to his AI songs - which, in reality, weren't really his, I'd get tired of them. But I still get just as big of a kick out of them today as I did back then. The nuances in his voice are exciting to me. What is it? I've never really paid attention to this before. I don't know about music. I don't know what to expect out of these contestants, except that they sound good and put on a good show. Kris was a game changer for me. I've never listened to the contestants again the same way, nor have any of them risen to Kris' standard.

-Kris is confident but not conceited. He's just a normal guy doing things he loves. He posted this on Instagram the day before I saw him in Santa Cruz. How can you not love someone who loves you and wants to share his talents with you?

- Kris's show was clean. He didn't even so much as use any swear words. So impressive. So unusual. It makes a difference. And guess what? He's still uber-cool!!

- Kris has THE cutest family. Wife, Katy and Son, Oliver. I once read that sometimes he looks at his wife and thinks, "She's the best decision I've ever made". How sweet is that? - and, if I have my sources wrong - I'm pretty sure that that's what this picture says anyway.

- Kris knows how to be true to himself - With his latest album he left the label, so he could do what he wanted. This is what he said about it. "There were times when I was nervous about doing this independently, but I stuck to my guns and made it on my own. It’s been a totally new journey and there’s so much more freedom to making music now. In the end I’m the one who has to be happy with the record and make something that means the world to me, and that’s exactly what I did.”

- Kris is resilient  Kris broke his arm a couple of years ago in a car accident. He couldn't play the guitar for a long time (I'm sure a great source of frustration for him), and then, when he was able to play again, he didn't have the range he had before. Maybe he notices the differences, but really, his guitar playing is incredibly sexy and so spot on (as is his singing). I heard he had to relearn to play in a different way than he did before. I find this incredible and amazing. And speaking of hands...

- Kris has great hands! Fun fact: Stefani likes hands. Have you noticed? Some people have really cool hands. Kris has some of the best. Here's the latest picture where I can't stop looking at his hands. These hands play guitar and piano (and probably other stuff) and that, to me, is incredibly attractive. I've never really figured out my fascination. Maybe it's because cool hands doing cool things = cool. Maybe it comes from my years as a "fine arts major" where we did really hard projects like drawing hands. Did you know hands have personality just like faces? I think Kris's hands have amazing personality. I mean really. How can you not be a little obsessed with this picture? (this is also a good picture for Dianne to get obsessed over, with her interest in forearms and all... am I right?)

- Kris is endearing and genuine and funny. -- So, there were 12 of us that made the trek to Santa Cruz last Friday night to see him. At least 7 of the 12, either didn't know who he was, or were going only to support their signifigant other. By the time we left, all 12 of us were fans! Kris sold a lot of music that night even though we were part of a very tiny crowd. I promise Kris, if you come back to the Catalyst Club, I'll make it my personal mission to fill that room. I know I can.

(Here's the 12 of us that went. We got ice-cream afterward, when we really should have stayed at the club and waited for Kris to come out the back so we could meet him. Sigh, I guess we are just 40-something's that are guided more by our stomachs than our concert-savviness. Speaking of appetites though, maybe we should just invite him and his band over for dinner when they are next in town. We're good at that. It would be fun. What would/should a real fangirl have done? )

(And here's me and my hot date. He's talented and sexy in his own right. He was so supportive about going to a concert that was anybody other than Rush, but in the end, he gained a great appreciation for Kris, and rightly so, Kris earned it. And Brad is all kinds of awesome!)

-Kris is an amazing artist - I love that he is an expert (in my opinion) on the guitar and piano. He does it so well and seemingly so effortless.  Did I mention the "cool" factor too? I love when the music is "in" someone and it comes out so real, so smooth, so genuine, and with such feeling. I like that he chose to leave the imperfections (his word not mine) in his new album to give it energy. Success! I've always loved the little things to hear in his music (voice and instruments). Hearing him live was all the more beautiful. His songs are relatable and catchy and I like almost all of them immediately.  It was extra special hearing my favorites in person and imagining his motivation and feelings while he was singing. My playlist is becoming ever more and more "Kris Allen heavy". Sometimes I fool myself into thinking I will delete some of the songs, but when it comes down to it, I never can.

- Kris' songs are universal. While Brady (almost 17) may not choose to put Kris on his own playlist, he knows all the songs and sings them, with feeling, when I've got Kris playing at home or in the car. Sometimes he makes up his own words and that is totally endearing to me.

-Kris was nice to my Afton when she saw him at BYUI. She and her friends waited after the show to meet him and get their pictures taken with him. She was so impressed with all of them and their caring attitude.   Side Note: Kris' Band is crazy talented too. They can play songs seamlessly that they've admitted they'd never played together before. Tee Hee. It just makes me giddy. Something about unity makes me extremely happy.

-Kris has uplifting and hopeful songs. - Lyrics like, "There's probably no saving us, but I wrote this song to try" is just one example of this. Beautiful & Wild (where these lyrics come from) has been running through my head continually since Friday, such a special song (Matthew 18:4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as a little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.) He writes all types of songs but one thing they have in common is that they are positive in nature. Kris recently had a contest where the winner would get to pick a song for him to "cover". As I considered which song I might choose, I realized that many of the songs out there (as good as they might be) were too angsty, sexual, or depressing. I couldn't picture Kris singing any of them. And holy smokes, if we are talking about word enunciation... well, slay me now... the little quiet pronunciations of "s" or "t" at the end of words are there and pierce into my soul.

-Kris smiles and laughs and genuinely always seems to be in a good mood. Now, I'm sure he's not perfect (at least I don't think so), but I think it's mostly easy to tell if a person is a naturally positive person. I'm certain Kris is. This video makes me think so even more.

So there you have it. Decide for yourself. Am I a fan girl or do I just appreciate a good thing when I see (hear) it?

Just take into account. I can't remember when his birthday is. I don't know his favorite color, and I certainly don't know his tour schedule. I don't write fan fiction about him, I don't google him or watch YouTube videos (too often anyway). I only have one picture of him (hanging on the inside of my garage door - Poster from when he performed at BYUI) Much against what Brad thinks, I have no desire to be a groupie.  If Kris gave me his guitar pick or set list, I wouldn't complain. I would love to shake his hand or give him a hug (or maybe adopt him), but I am happy just to hear his music and enjoy his talent.

I'm just going to leave you with this. This interview continues to be one of my favorite things I've ever seen about Kris (besides him singing). It's silly and good natured. Now if I could just figure out how to upload one of my own videos you could see what I'm really obsessed with. Sorry, I'm not tech savvy enough. I guess you'll have to see my Instagram feed for a video clip that Brad took at the show. I'm a wee bit obsessed with it.

Ok, one more thing (yes I suppose I really AM a fangirl),  you have to see him performing with Keith Urban on the American Idol finale the year he won. Also one of my favorite KA moments.

And just for the record - I'm in favor of this...

DISCLAIMER:

Ok - after some input I decided I should put a disclaimer here. So, while several people I've talked to and heard from are on board with me here; they get where I'm coming from and are of the same mindset. However, it may come across to some as inappropriate or at the very least slightly cracked and over the top. Ok, I get it, maybe I can see how someone might feel that. But I assure you my motives are completely pure. I'm not fantasizing about Kris, I have absolutely no questionable thoughts. And I would really feel sad if someone thought this were true. However, I can understand why some people might see it this way. Hence the disclaimer. I love and appreciate Kris for sharing his talents and blessing us with them. Please know it's a spiritual connection not a physical one. And while I do appreciate some physical characteristics, that's all it is... appreciation. I don't know how better to explain this. And please know it's true.