Not always eye to eye, but...

so glad he's in my life...

I've been meaning to post about my cool and very favorite husband Brad for the longest time and just about the time I would be ready to do it I would get annoyed with him, or he would get annoyed with me or he would do something I didn't "approve" of, or I would feel hypocritical posting all the good stuff if I wasn't fully feeling the love. Last night though, I decided that I do feel the love. I am married to the perfect guy! The perfect guy for me!

Now please don't think we fight all the time or that we don't get along - but at a time of year when we get lots of rosy sounding Christmas cards (and we wonder why everyone else is so perfect) I wanted this to be a "real" message about love. I've determined that even in the best of marriages there is always going to be vexation and grief (movie quote alert) but that is when real love is made, right?; It's in the, "I'm not giving up", in the, "I love you anyway", in the "I'm a better person because of you", in the "you aren't perfect and neither am I, but we'll make it work" type of a way. This is where true love is formed, is it not? It's easy to love when you're on the same page, when life is good, when you see eye to eye, when things are going as you would plan. It's harder, however, to love when life throws you curve balls, when someone does things that seem hurtful or hateful, or when day to day living is a huge struggle. It's hard to love when we feel judged or judgmental or simply when the stars are not aligned. But that's when love becomes deep, when love becomes rooted, when you act Christlike even when life and love stinks.

I am very intrigued (although a little annoyed) by Kelly Clarkson's song, "My Life Would Suck Without You" (pardon that awful slang word, it makes my toenails cringe). The song is about 2 people who are quite dysfunctional but can't live without each other. They are a team, they make it work in spite of each other. They might think it would be better with someone else (anyone else) but in reality they belong together.

Here are some of the words:

I know that I've got issues

but you're pretty messed up too

Either way I found out, I'm nothing without you.

Now you might think I'm advocating accepting your problems as unchangeable and too engrained to fix, which I'm not doing at all. I am, in fact, advocating accepting your problems, owning up to them, trying to fix them and then realizing that you and your loved one aren't ever going to be perfect (at least not any time soon), but that you love each other anyway and you need each other if you want to have any lasting joy.

Now you might also think that I am stating that Brad and I are dysfunctional, that I'm currently annoyed with him (or he with me) and that we are permanently and irrevocably flawed. Actually this couldn't be further from the truth. I am so in love with that guy and feel eternally grateful that I have him as mine. Yes, we are both flawed but I am glad we can count on each other to overcome these shortcomings.

Here's some things I love about Brad:

Brad always has our family's best interest at heart

Brad is wise

Brad works hard everyday to provide for our family

Brad is talented

Brad likes to laugh

Brad knows how to feel and recognize and follow the spirit

Brad is good looking

Brad knows how to get things done

Brad is a good friend

Brad is positive

Brad had a clear mind

Brad has vision

Brad has nice hands

Brad has nice eyes

Brad likes to have fun

Brad has great ambition and determination

Brad likes to win

Brad is a great dad

Brad is supportive

Brad teaches me things I wouldn't have learned otherwise

Brad has high expectations

Brad has a good work ethic

Brad has his head screwed on straight

Brad knows how to laugh at himself

Brad has a lot to offer

Brad is a good kisser

Brad is beautiful

Brad knows how to have a good time

Brad is generous

Brad chooses the right

Brad is happy

Brad is funny

Brad knows how to improvise

Brad is committed

Brad is a good example

Brad always gives it his best effort

Brad has a big heart

Brad is a natural

Brad makes my heart go pitter-patter

Brad knows how to improve things

Brad is not picky

Brad is real

Brad knows how to fight for himself and his family and his rights

Brad is responsible

Brad knows how to cut through the crap

Brad loves me

Brad loves the kids

Brad loves the gospel

Brad isn't jaded

Brad is honest

Brad appreciates people how they are

Brad likes nice things

Brad makes my life better

Now see, if I was sending out a Christmas letter I would have just included the bottom half of this post. And you would say one of 3 things, "Ya right!" or "How come she's got it so good?" or "Take off the rose colored glasses, sistah". None of these things would be a correct statement in and of themselves. Yes, we are a bit dysfunctional, yes we have troubles and stress, yes I've got it good but things could be a whole lot better (they could also be a whole lot worse), but I love that guy. Brad is my other half, my matching puzzle piece. When I think of him and our relationship I always think of it as a perfect 10. Thanks Brad, we belong together now, forever united here somehow. You've got a piece of me, and honestly... My life would suck without you. (eeekkk, sorry, there's that word again)